It's 11th April.....

I'm BACK! I guess no one will really visit my blog by now!

it's 2.30 pm. I'm still wide awake! i didt slp for about 20 hours. My body clock is a total fuckdup.

I think i am not a good friend, boyfriend, son, brother, etc etc.

Now, i've a CONFESSION. i think i suck. LOL
the story starts here.....
-when i was in sec 2, i always pangseh my sec 2 classmates and meet my primary sch friends
-when i was in sec 4, i always pangseh my sec 2 and sec 4 classmates to meet my primary sch friends
-when i didt meet with my primary sch friends, i will pangseh sec 2 classmates and meet sec 4 classmates.
-when i was in poly, i got myself a gf, my time was much..... mmm... too limited? i almost pangseh all groups of friends. HAHA!

Therefore, i will like to apologise to all my friends! SORRY GUYS AND GIRLS! i guess if someone gonna read this, it will only be my dear poly classmates. LOL.

I'm really glad that i'm still in contact with all my friends. to all my friends : I love you all! =D i'm sorry if i'm unable to attend any of the outing. But i did try my best. LOL pls forgive me!

After so much of talking cork, i will like to introduce my new friend to you all! She's (i prefer SHE to HE because i'm not a gay like u! =D) my cutie 1.5 meter bolster! she's damn hot! She is given by my girlfriend! WAHAHAHA now my girlfriend is facing tough competition!

I've NAPFA on WEDNESDAY MORNING! 7.30 AM! WISH ME GOOD LUCK! *although i'm 95% fail* hahahahaha!

Chinese New Year

it's Feb. I am lost.

What can i do? what should i do?

Decided to move on, but... where?

If possible, i would really love to go Thailand and be a "part-time" monk.
I always wanna be a real man but what makes a REAL MAN?

Growing up or not? it's not up to me.

awful November

It's November. I've done nothing except slacking, doing shit for projects, doing things i dun like and live like a zombie.

I hate myself. I'm not a superman. I jus a poly student who did badly for exams and projects. I still remember in the month of Oct, i have defined my goals, but everything is jus not feasible. i did not have a concrete plan or whatsoever shit to support my ideas. I dun have capital, knowledge, ideas or skills. I am a idiot who knows nothing.

i jus wanna say sorry to those who did projects with me. This period of time, i may submitting shit to u all. I may not be able to get my ass up again. I'm just like a fallen bird. i wanna fly. i wanna live carefreely. i dun want to be tied down. i dun believe in destiny. I wanna live my own life.

 Actually, i think i am a loser. i always find ways to avoid my responsibilities. I even resort to smoking but i was choke by it so i decide not to. What a loser right? I also tried other ways to relieve stress. Let me named some......

1. Driving - I always like to drive fast. Sad to say, i'm already numb to it. even 180km/h seems slow to me. It's not that i boast or whatsoever. i guess i've been driving too fast for a long time. The thrill is not there anymore. So i choose to piss other road drivers. i like to cut lanes which almost crash into others and do some emergency brakes. i know i am an ass but for now, the fun still able to entertain me. I love to play taxi driver especially. LOL

2. Rant - i guess no one knows i am an emo shit. i drive alone at night and shout on expressway without any aims.

3. Violence - i always punch my cupboard and wall

4. Kill bugs - i love to cut ants' legs, use needle to poke beetles.

5. Lying on bed pretending i'm dead.

If anyone who did the same things as i did, contact me! lets do it together =D

I guess no one will get to read this! UNLESS u STALK ME! LOL! which is impossible.

Busy Oct

i've drawn out my plan for oct. it's really packed.i even printed out a calendar and paste it on my rm's wall to remind myself. In order to clearly define my goals and piorities, i've wrote all my goals and piorities on the wall too! i wish i can get back my wasted september. u might be thinking that writing this post will waste more time, but this post is to represent as a beginning of my new life.

I hope everything will workout well and everything is feasible. i really cant wait.

Before i break out the news, i will like to keep what i am doing now as a secret. i'm afraid that everything dun goes smoothly or dun even feasible.

i hate myself for screwing up 19 years of my life.

Wed,Sat,Sun

When it comes to Wed, Sat and Sun, i will start to despise my mum. i cant stand her. I nv seen anyone gamble 4D until like this. Can u believe she can sit on the sofa for a few hours thinking of 4D numbers? After the opening of the 4D lottery, she can dissappoint to a point that she can emo for that night. What the hell is this? She can spend few Ks on 4D everymonth. Seriously, i despise her to the max not because she gambles, i despise her because she dun even work and all those money are my dad's hardearn money. She's a total fuckdup.

Today's sunday, can u believe that my crazy mum now going to witness the opening of 4D lottery LIVE? what the fuck is this? Fuck it man. I hate it. How stupid can she be?

What's so bad?

It's all about my family dinner again.

Every weekends,sat and sun, no matter what, as long as i'm in singapore, i will definitely have dinner with my family. I dun understand why she loves to quarrel with me regarding this. She said that the time we spent together were to little. I already tried my best. i know she has to study hard. My weekends' nights are for my family, she wan go anywhere on weekdays, i dun mind, i'll just follow her. Her dad works 6days a week, only have thursday as off day. i understand. Thats the reason why i will nv bother u on thursday.

What's so bad about eating dinner with my family? My family also nv bring her to some ulu places to eat dinner. Seafood,tze char,thai, "chapalan" restaurants, what's so bad about them? She might get sick of them, but it's not about the food, it's about the family bond. I only hope to spend that few hours with my family on weekends, whatever she wanna do, it's her choice.

She expects me to give up my weekends dinner with family because she thinks that i will be able to see my dad and mum everyday. Sad to say, i will NEVER agree to that. She can try it over my dead body. She cannot accompany me on weekdays, is her problems. Why should i give up my family for her which i think the demand of her is totally unreasonable.

I suggested that she can meet me everyweekends from morning till the time i have dinner then i send her home. But she didt gimme any answer.

If she insists in that, Sorry then. We have different goals and we should go separate ways. I dun see the point of continuing.

I can be nice, but dun get under my nerves. Dun expect me to give in.

Busy or Act Busy?

Now is 5.18 AM! Thursday morning! Wednesday night! i've been occupied by lots of stuffs and events! WOOHOO.

Sad to say! wednesday is my 破财日(bankrupt day)！Arcade is MONEY DRAINING! damn it! spend 40+ bucks and get nothing in the end except for some THRILL. LOLS! i realise some stupid arcade game can be damn fun! HAHAHA!

Jus came back from Zouk. To me, going zouk like going ZOO. fucking lots of WOLF and BEAST in the club. i feel that i am a sheep in the club. i'm herbivore(dun eat girls)! HAHA Sad to say, i've quite alot of opportunities to turn Carnivore but i let the CHANCE to my Emo friend. =x In the end, i wasted 25 bucks. SOB SOB

In conclusion, 70bucks gone to the drain. *emo*

In fact, after tonight, i will be quite free already =X what should i do leh? LOL

Sorry everyone, i dunno how to upload photos! LOL!